Jun 13, 2008 at 12:05 am (Politics) (, )

Sometime you know that tomorrow is going to be tough. Logically you should rest, fuel yourself and prepare for it and I’m sure some people do. I however lack the self control. The knowledge that tomorrow is going to be a killer makes me want to sap every last moment I can out of today. Annoyingly this means another bout of late night madness. I’m not in for a fun one tomorrow (boring work stuff, you wouldn’t want to know) so all I can do is sit here browsing the net, reading every little tid bit about the great man DD, and delaying the inevitable need for sleep.

However it has provided me with an amusing imagination game – what are the senior politicians in the country thinking right now as they try and drop off at the end of an astonishing and unexpected day that is going to lead to all sorts of mayhem tomorrow?

David Davis will of course probably be sleeping the most calmly. Nothing like a clear conscience and the knowledge that you’ve done the right thing to send you soundly to sleep. He’ll be the sensible person preparing for the struggle ahead with preparation, a cool head and a determined view. In his pale blue stylish pyjamas he’ll be dropping off in no time.

Clegg will be anxious – he knows he’s on the right side of the argument but he was the first leader to jump into the unpredictable minefield of the by-election that lies ahead. He’ll be wondering if he’s going to get burnt and whether the members of his party who already think he’s cosying up to the Tories too much will be even angrier at him tomorrow. His pyjamas of course have yellow and blue horizontal stripes. He’ll probably be heading down to the kitchen for a cup of camomile tea to help him drop off.

Cameron will be having a chat with Samantha as they lie in their four poster bed – him in dark blue silk pyjamas, Samantha in something from Laura Ashley she’s had since the 80’s. He tells her he agrees with Davis, he see his point and he has to admire his balls but gosh darnit it’s a risky time and things were going so smoothly. This is going to take some serious skill to manoeuvre and the trouble with being the leader of the Tory party is that you can always count on the party members to do their best to get in your way – nevermind those eejits over at Conservative Home handing Gordon a bag of ammo from under the table. Samantha hands Dave a warm mug of fair trade and cocoa, strokes his brow and reassures him that Davis may not watch as much You Tube as DC but he has a canny knack of connecting with the great British public and that it will all turn out right in the end.

And then we turn to the Hunchback in the Tower – the phantom of Downing Street. He cuts a ghostly figure as he paces the corridors of Downing Street still in his suit and tie, muttering to himself about how he can’t understand it, about how it’s not his fault they’re in this much mess, thinking he really does believe 42 is the answer even though he’s forgotten he read it in a Douglas Adams book rather than a creditable piece of evidence. Because of course the only man who truly will be unable to sleep tonight is our supreme leader. So mired in tactics, turmoil and travesty he’s truly lost sight of who is, what he stands for and where he’s going. He knows only one thing – that he must hold on to power for dear life.

Remember kids – a clear conscience is the key to a good nights sleep.

Sleep Brownn


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